When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.

When she dances she makes the band skip.

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.

Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.